Hey, how are ya?!
New guest blog post this week!
This blog post is from a woman I went to college with, Anna Lubas. I did not know Anna well, but I discovered her blog after college and was very moved by her writing. I know that you will enjoy!
Anna Lubas’s Guest Blog:
High school wasn’t a great time for me. I rarely ever think back to it. Most people see high school, college, and post grad as different chapters of their lives. I see each of these phases as entirely separate books. The person I am today is almost completely different from who I was five years ago. (Side note: how in the world has it been five years since graduation?? Did God decide to speed up time or something??). Sometimes I wish I could travel back in time and face my high school self. A cool, quiet exterior hid a hurricane of emotion. In addition to being a hormonal teenager who was going through constant ups and downs, I was very insecure about myself. The way I looked, the way I dressed, the way I spoke, everything. I was so self-conscious that I sometimes chose to stay quiet instead of saying what was on my mind in fear of sounding “weird” or “awkward”. Looking back, I know that, in reality, I was neither of those things. It was all in my head. That’s because what we think of ourselves becomes our reality and, in so, determines what other people see in us. Because of the negative view I had of myself, I was pretty shy, quiet in groups, and I honestly only had like one real friend. If I could stand face to face with my sixteen year old self, I wouldn’t reprimand her for being self-conscious and, okay, maybe a wee bit awkward.
I would give her a hug. I would tell her how truly loved she is.
See, that’s what it all comes down to.
I am now free from the confines of my insecurity. I am able to experience joy on a daily basis. Actually, I’m the happiest I’ve been in a really long time. (Like no joke…maybe since elementary school??) I wouldn’t trade my life for anyone’s. Not for Beyonce’s, or Meghan Markle’s, nor any blonde, blue eyed, insta-famous girl who has a hot boyfriend and travels the world taking pics that we all know aren’t actually candid.
How did I learn to love myself? One thing that made a world of a difference for me was coming back to my Christian faith. I wandered off for a little bit not being sure what it was I believed in (separate story all in itself). But knowing you have a Savior that loves you so much that He chose to die for your sins? How can you not see the immensity of your worth and beauty? But omitting matters of faith, I wanted to give you guys five really simple things I have done to love myself more. Disclaimer: I’m by no means an “expert” and these are things many of you probably already do. But I think it’s important to reiterate nonetheless 😉
- Do your hobbies, fulfill your talents. Not only will you actively appreciate your inborn gifts but it will also give your life SO much more meaning. And trust me, this is like the best feeling ever. I’ve always wanted to paint and create a blog in my spare time…and now I’m doing both! Writing and art are two things that satisfy an urge deep within my soul. You know, that inner craving to do something? Yeah that. I may not be the best writer, or the best artist, but somehow, it allows me to appreciate myself more knowing that I am finally doing that thing I’ve always wanted to do and it honestly makes me feel kinda awesome about myself.
- Unfollow social media accounts that make you feel less worthy/beautiful/awesome/fantastic/talented than you truly are!! Go! Just do it. Do it now!! Hahah.
- Okayyy this one is slightly unrelated albeit very important, and is actually inspired by other blogs I have read in the past: If you’re anything like me and sometimes get stuck in loops of negative thinking… tell yourself “STOP” either out loud or in your head (don’t want any weird stares out in public now do we). Then, take a metaphorical step back (don’t want you tripping over somethin’ neither) andlist as many things as you can think of that you are thankful for. Me? I’m thankful for my few, genuine friendships, my faith, my relationship with my parents, getting into grad school, being able to afford a weekly manicure, the blue sky, hearing birds chirp when I take my dog for a walk in the morning. Because I could be blind, or I could lose my hearing one day. And that will no longer be possible. Just think about it.
- Make enough room for “ME time”!!! I don’t care if you’re a guy. Turn on the hot water in your bath tub. Put your favorite music on. Maybe throw in some bubbles if you’re feelin’ lucky, and just relax. And if you hate baths and haven’t taken one since you were seven, do something else that will allow you to spend some quality time with yourself. I think it’s good to separate yourself from reality sometimes and just ponder your inner being.
- Look at yourself in the mirror the way Kanye looks at himself wearing his thousand something dollar Yeezy’s. Actually, no, don’t do that because YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH MORE THAN MONEY. Look at yourself the way you look at pictures of you from 98’ that you found rummaging through your parent’s closet. Do you see that joyful smile? That innocent curiosity and love for life? You are still that same person deep inside, you know. Just a bit taller and stuff. Stand in front of your mirror and look yourself straight in the eyes with the same kinda warmth in your heart that you get when looking through those old photos. Smile.
Joey and Anna